Small People

Student N: Everybody knows that small people have loud voices.
Student J: That's not true, because D----- is small and he's normal!

Interesting compliment

In the copy room....

Another teacher: I just have one more copy to make.
Me: No worries, take your time.
Other teacher: Oh, I didn't know that was your voice. You have a cool voice!

Class Pet

On Friday, we were coming in from recess and I found one of my students already in the classroom (without permission).

Me: What are you doing in here?
Student S: Can I tell you the truth?
Me: Um, YES!
Student S: Well, I wanted to take the class fish home as my pet.

Realizing that the floor and computer table are covered with water, and in the student's hands is a ziplock bag with water in it....

Student S: It flopped out of my hands and I couldn't pick it back up.
Me: Well, it's dead now.