Hummer, no Hunter

Student G: "Mrs. Tull, I bet I know your password."
Me: "Oh yeah? What is it?"
Student G: "It's your husband's name!"
Another teacher: "What's her husband's name?"
Student G: "Hummer?"

Old

After we took our quarterly test I had the kids stretch and jump up and down to release their energy....

Student L: "Mrs. Tull - you too old to be jumpin!"

dandruff

A very serious conversation with a 10-year old boy....

Me: "So G, why do you put grease on your hair?"
G: "So I don't get dry skin."
Me: "Yeah, but why not just use conditioner?"
G: "Grease works better. You know dry and flaky skin is called dandruff! And you have dandruff too! But you have blond hair, so you can't see it."

REALLY?! since when do I have blond hair?

Balls

definitely set myself up by complete accident.........working on possessive nouns....my example....

Me: "So imagine that I want to go to the sports store, Dicks, to buy balls...."

Yeah, the little boys couldn't control their laughter....followed by the little girls delayed realization. Then, I couldn't stop laughing either....so I said...

"FINE! We're going to Wal-Mart for the balls!"

Apparently Height Matters

Student from another class: "Well we know you're younger than Miss H."
Me: "Yeah? Well I'm actually older than her!"
Student: "What?! But you're shorter than her!!"

Ages

Talking to some students at recess who have no idea how old I am....

Student from another class: "Miss H, you're like a 14 year old in a 24 year old's body."
Me: "What do you think about me?"
Student: "You're like a 36 year old in a 20-something's body."

Oceanography

Me: "So what do we already know about the ocean?"
Student: "That mermaids and sea demons live there."
Me: "Really? You know that for a fact?"
Student: "It's in my book."

......and he shows me......

Me: "That's a drawing."
Student: "Oh."